You
cannot escape it. The discussion about habits is
all around you: Mom and Dad are constantly
telling you to break your bad habits; your
teachers are telling you to develop good habits;
your friends are pressuring you to adopt their
habits; and the television and media are
influencing you to explore new and supposedly
cool habits. "You will never be successful," the
constant refrain goes, "unless you drop your bad
habits and develop some good habits." In the
end, it's all up to you. You have to decide what
your habits are going to be. Have you given this
matter some thought?
If you
are alive and breathing, you should
constantly be engaged in an inner struggle
to develop habits which draw you closer to
Allah Most High. Success in this world is
directly related to the strength of your
relationship with Allah. The farther one is
from Allah and the teachings of the Prophet
Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him),
the less likely one is to achieve success in
this world and, for sure, even less likely
to achieve success in the hereafter. Is it
not time for us to reflect upon Islamic
teachings to discern the necessary habits of
highly successful Muslim youth?
Here
are at least seven habits indispensable for
highly successful Muslim youth, derived
entirely from the Qur'an and the teachings
of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings
be upon him).
Be
Truthful
Being
truthful is not always easy, especially when
we make a mistake. We fret over whether or
not to disclose exactly what happened. We
sweat, we are afraid, we feel nervous and
anxious. We are often afraid that if we tell
the truth about what we have done or said,
we will be in trouble with our parents or
friends. What we forget is that whether we
tell the truth or not, Allah Most High knows
exactly what took place, even those things
that were never manifest or visible to
people around us. Despite how burdensome
telling the truth might seem, all of us are
aware of the feeling of relief we experience
when we tell the truth, even if the
consequence of telling the truth is
punishment. Casting the telling of truth and
the fate of the truthful in terms of profit
and loss, Allah Most High tells us in the
Qur'an
[This is a day on which the truthful
will profit from their truth: theirs are
gardens, with rivers flowing beneath —
their eternal Home: Allah well-pleased
with them, and they with Allah. That is
the great salvation, (the fulfillment of
all desires).] (Al-Ma'idah 5:119)
So
much is to be gained from being truthful as
opposed to escaping punishment or blame
because of not being truthful. Not being
truthful, in fact, leads us down a slippery
slope, guaranteeing that with one lie, more
lies must be told. Being truthful is not an
option for Muslims, but rather an
obligation, because our goal in being
truthful is Paradise. The beloved of Allah,
Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be
upon him), said, as narrated by `Abdullah
(may Allah be pleased with him),
Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and
righteousness leads to Paradise. And a
man keeps on telling the truth until he
becomes a truthful person. Falsehood
leads to al-fujur [wickedness,
evil-doing], and al-fujur leads
to the (Hell) Fire, and a man may keep
on telling lies till he is witten before
Allah, a liar." (Sahih Bukhari, Book
#73, Hadith #116)
Ultimate success is therefore achieved by
living one's entire life — the youthful
years, the adult years, and the elderly
years — being truthful.
Who
do you rely on? Of course, Allah. He is
indeed the Most Trustworthy. But among
humans, who do you rely on? Who can you
trust to come through for you all the time?
Do people rely on you? Are you considered
trustworthy? Moving ahead in life, achieving
ultimate success, requires that people
consider you trustworthy and reliable. Being
trustworthy should not be an arbitrary
activity but rather a habit so that you can
be relied upon in all instances, big or
small, convenient or inconvenient, easy or
difficult.
In
colloquial terms, we often hear "I've got
your back," implying, in the most literal
sense, that people cannot see what is behind
them so they need to rely on their friends
to cover that angle, just in case a threat
occurs from the back. Just imagine what it
would be like if a friend were climbing a
tree and was heading out onto a very thin
branch to get a kite that got stuck there.
She asks you if you "have her back." In this
instance, she is relying on you entirely to
hold on to her in case the branch breaks.
There is no room for joking around or for
being distracted: your friend is trusting
you with her life.
When
we say Allah is the Most Trustworthy, we are
coming to terms with the fact that Allah
Most High will never let us down, will never
leave our side. He, Most High, says about
someone who willingly accepts Islam,
[Let there be no compulsion in religion:
Truth stands out clear from error:
whoever rejects evil and believes in
Allah hath grasped the most trustworthy
hand-hold, that never breaks. And Allah
Heareth and Knoweth all things.] (Al-Baqarah
2:256)
Indeed, the prophets of Allah were all
trustworthy people and Allah attested to the
trustworthiness of those who were doubted by
their communities. Prophet Hud, appealing to
his community, declared to them,
[I
but fulfill towards you the duties of my
Lord's mission: I am to you a sincere
and trustworthy adviser.] (Al-A`raf
7:68)
Practice daily developing the habit of being
trustworthy. Accept responsibility and then
fulfill it. When others trust you, do not
betray their trust.
You
can read in the beautiful biography of our
Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be
upon him) how people used to entrust him
with their valuables, knowing that upon
their return they would find their valuables
safe and unharmed. His personal and
business practices were commendable to the
degree that he was known for it in his
community, even before he became aware that
he was the Prophet of Allah, literally one
who is most truthful and trustworthy.
Have
Self-Restraint and Be God-Conscious
Perhaps
the most difficult challenge while
navigating adolescence is to restrain
oneself from falling victim to one's desires
— especially one's lower desires.
Our
success in life depends to a great extent on
how well we are able to restrain ourselves
and to be moderate in what is permissible,
as well as how capable we are of distancing
ourselves from what is impermissible.
Why is
self-restraint so critical? Satan's goal is
to make you a slave of your desires to the
extent that you eat until you are actually
uncomfortable; that you consume without
restraint beverages made of caffeine, sugar,
and artificial flavors; that you find
yourself longing for sleep more than prayer;
and that you yearn to satisfy your sexual
desires. Developing self-restraint as a
habit entails making self-restraint your
second nature — something which is done
almost without thought, without too much
effort. We are reminded by Allah Most High,
[And no one will be granted such
goodness except those who exercise
patience and self-restraint, — none but
persons of the greatest good fortune.] (Fussilat
41:5)
In
seeking to be highly successful Muslim
youth, that is, youth deserving of the
greatest fortune, it is imperative that you
develop self-restraint.
An
interesting parallel is that, throughout his
Qur'an translation, the late Abdullah Yusuf
Ali translates taqwa as
self-restraint. While taqwa
is most commonly translated as
"God-consciousness," one realizes
without much effort that the height of
self-restraint is full and complete
understanding that one is indeed conscious
of one's duty to one's Lord. How awesome
will it be if you can look back at your life
and say to yourself, all praise is due to
Allah that I did not succumb to my lower
desires and instead exercised self-restraint
consistently!
Be
Thorough
Look
around your room. How many unfinished
projects do you have? When you work on
homework, are you likely to rush through the
assignment just so you can be done with it
or are you more likely to take your time, to
check your work, and most importantly, to be
thorough?
Often
teachers will grade a report based on how
well and to what extent the student covered
the topic at hand. Being thorough is not a
habit that is developed overnight. The
opposite of being thorough is being
incomplete, being rushed, and working in
haste without any regard for accuracy or
quality. The most perfect is Allah Most
High, Who perfected creation, Who perfected
our religion, and Who guided His Prophet
Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him)
to be the most perfect among humans in
behavior and in character.
We
read in the Muwatta of Imam Malik
"Yahya related to me from Malik that he had
heard that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah
bless him and grant him peace, said, 'I was
sent to perfect good character'" (Book #47,
Hadith #47.1.8).
To
be thorough stems from a desire to be
perfect to the extent that this is humanly
possible. Seeking perfection in our
actions and speech from an early age helps
us to develop a keen eye, not only for
thoroughness in our own life, but also for
thoroughness in the lives of those around
us. Being thorough in prayer, for
example, teaches us to be patient and to
concentrate upon the words we are reciting
and the different positions of the prayer.
Be
Focused
One
thousand ideas go through your head the
moment you stand up for prayer. Is that you?
Really? What do you make of those ideas? Do
you process them? What about when you are
sitting in class? Do you find your mind
wandering, daydreaming, and unable to focus
on the lecture at hand? Are you likely to
use any excuse whatsoever to leave what you
are doing?
Developing the habit of being focused
ensures that you are awake, alert, and
totally motivated to work on and complete
the task at hand, whatever it may be. Being
distracted early on in childhood by video
games, fast-paced imagery, and constantly
changing scenes on television shows
contributes to an inability to concentrate,
to focus. Among the best ways to develop
focus is to practice praying with deep
concentration to the extent that you are
almost unaware of your surroundings. Allah
Most High tells us in the Qur'an that the
believers are
[those who humble themselves in their
prayers] (Al-Mu'minun 23:2)
The
humility referred to here results from total
focus and concentration on the fact that one
is in the presence of Allah, standing before
Him, Most High. Do your best to develop
focus, no matter what activity you are
engaged in — whether in prayer, in
academics, in athletics, or some other
pastime.
Be
Punctual
Stop saying over and over again that you are
late because of "Muslim standard time," or
the "standard time" of your particular
ethnicity. The last thing we should
attribute to Islam is the notion that its
teachings somehow make us late, slow,
slugging, and anything but punctual. What a
sad state of affairs, indeed, that we
attribute our own weaknesses to our religion
or ethnicity!
Highly
successful individuals, be they Muslim or
not, understand and appreciate the value of
not only their time but the time of everyone
else with whom they interact. Keeping people
waiting for hours on end is neither
something to be proud of nor a habit that
has a place in the mindset of a person who
tries to be successful.
One
of the central pillars of Islam is prayer,
and Allah and the Prophet Muhammad (peace
and blessings be upon him) have given us
clear reminders that we are to establish
prayers at their due times.
When
`Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him)
asked "which deed is the dearest to Allah?"
the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be
upon him) replied, "To offer the prayers at
their early stated fixed times" (Sahih
Bukhari, Book #10, Hadith #505).
If
indeed your day is to be considered
successful, you must have prayed all the
obligatory prayers at their established
times and as many voluntary prayers as
possible. If your day is planned around the
times of prayer, you should not pray exactly
at the time when you are to pray but then
come late to all other appointments.
Being punctual is a habit which, when
perfected, demonstrates to others the
tremendous value that Islam places on time —
not only ours but that of everyone else with
whom we interact.
Be
Consistent
Apart
from all the habits listed above, perhaps
the one that is sure to help you become a
highly successful Muslim youth is that of
being consistent. One cannot be truthful one
day and a liar the next; one cannot be
trustworthy in one instance and totally
unreliable in the next; and so on for each
of the other habits. A Muslim
understands from an early age that it is
easier to do something once or whenever we
feel like it but much harder to do something
regularly and consistently.
Indeed, the Mother of the Believers `A'ishah
(may Allah be pleased with her) narrates
that "the most beloved action to
Allah's Apostle was that which is done
continuously and regularly" (Sahih
Bukhari, Book #76, Hadith #469).
Regular and consist actions show that a
person has thought about it, has intended to
do it, has planned to do it, and therefore
does it.
We
urge you to be as consistent as possible,
especially in those areas of your life which
need constant improvement, such as your
prayers, your fasting, your manners, your
studying habits, etc. Do not say, I am going
to pray all day every day, or fast
voluntarily all of the days of every month,
or study all night every night, because such
actions cannot be humanly sustained over a
long period of time. Say on the other hand,
I am going to be sure to read at least one
part of the Qur'an every day, or I will
strive to help my parents with at least one
household chore every day, or I will try to
study at least one new item every week so
that I can be ahead of the lesson plan.
Conclusion
Finally, Muslims aspire to develop all of
these habits because, in doing so, we draw
nearer to Allah Most High. If you are intent
on being a highly successful Muslim youth,
then you owe it to yourself to reflect upon
your own life and see how many of these
habits are already a part of who you are and
how many you need to further develop or
acquire.
We end
with a reminder that developing these habits
will help you to emulate the life of our
beloved Prophet Muhammad (peace and
blessings be upon him). His message and his
life are summarized well in a narration of
`Abdullah ibn `Abbas:
Abu Sufyan told me that Heraclius said
to him, "When I enquired of you what he
(Muhammad) ordered you, you replied that
he ordered you to establish the prayer,
to speak the truth, to be chaste, to
keep promises, and to pay back trusts."
Then Heraclius added, "These are really
the qualities of a prophet." (Sahih Al-Bukhari,
Book #48, Hadith #846)
Strive to develop the seven habits listed
above and many others from the Islamic
teachings so that you will be among the
highly successful Muslim youth.
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