Foundation of NJ - USA
RESPECT FOR PARENTS – THE ISLAMIC OUTLOOK
1. Yunus says on the authority of Imam Musa Kaziml (AS) that one man asked the last Prophet about the rights of parents on the son. The Prophet said: "He should not name his father; he should not walk ahead of him; he should not sit before him; and he should not do anything (offensive) lest the people call names to his father."
Commenting on this Hadith, Allama Majlissi ® says: a son should not mention his father by name because it shows lack of respect. One should name his father with titles denoting his respect for him.
2. It is on the authority of Imam Jafar Sadiq (AS) that a man came to see the Apostle of Allah. and said: “ I wish to go for Jihad. " The Apostle said: "Go and fight for the cause of Allah. If you are killed, you will still find, sustenance because you are considered alive in the sight of Allah. And if you return home after taking part in Jihad, it will be as if you are born again, and you never committed any sin. "
The man said: "0 Messenger of Allah! my parents are very much attached to me, and they do not want me to go on Jihad. " The Apostle said: 'In that case. you should stay with your parents. By Him in Whose hands is my life, the service which you give in one day and one night, is better than spending a whole year in Jihad. "
3. Allama Majlissi ® says in his book Hilyatul-Muttaqeen, that one man requested the Apostle of Allah to give him some advice. The Apostle said: 'This is my advice. Never associate partners with Allah even if they bum you in fire except that if you say something but your heart is steadfast in Faith: and this is my advice that you obey your parents, and love them whether they are living or dead. "
4. There is a tradition in Kafi that a man asked Imam Jafar Sadiq (AS): "Allah has commanded good conduct toward the parents. What is good conduct in this context?"
The Imam said: “This is good conduct that you should be at your best behavior with your parents. You should anticipate all their needs and wishes so that they do not have to ask you for anything. Allah says in His Book: "By no means shall you attain righteousness unless you give (freely) of that which you love; and whatever you give, of a truth Allah knows it well". (3:92). If your parents hurt you, you should not hurt them. Even if they beat you up, you should sub/nit to their beating. You should pray for them, and look at them with love and kindness. Do not raise your voice in their presence, and do not walk ahead of them. "
5. A man said to Imam Jafar Sadiq: “ I have parents but they are not on the right Faith: so how should I treat them."
The Imam said: Even so, treat them with kindness. "
6. A man asked Imam Reza (AS): "My parents are not on the right religion: should I still pray for them?"
The Imam replied: "Yes, pray for them. Give charity on their behalf. If they are living treat them with love, kindness and respect. In the commentary of Verses 23 and 24 of the Sura Bani Israel in Quran, it is stated that if the parents are believers, you should pray for their forgiveness: and if they are unbelievers, you should pray that Allah gives them guidance. "
7. A man sought permission from the Apostle of Allah to go on Jihad. The Apostle said: First seek permission from your parents. If they allow you, then go and light. But if they do not allow you, then serve them with courtesy and love. "
(In many of the Hadith or traditions, the Apostle of Allah gave special permission to someone not to fight in the cause of Allah. But it is not a general law. If the non-participation of someone in Jihad could hurt the Faith, then he must participate in Jihad even without thepermission of the parents. The Jurists are unanimously agreed that if the parents order someone to do something unlawful or to abandon the mandatory duties in Islam, one should refuse to obey them. Only in the things which are recommended or Mustahabbat, their wishes should be respected.)