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Marriage: Before or After University

Hussein Khimji

 My initial thought as I started writing on this subject was that a student must wait  until his or her education is complete. Being a first year student, the thought of getting married before finishing college was terrifying. I would prefer to follow in the footsteps of other youth, who are starting college and postpone marriage until after graduation.

 These days, when the question of marriage is put forward to any youth, the most common answers will include a long list of difficulties and problems in marriage, with total disregard of all the benefi ts and merits offered by marriage in the greatest wisdom of Allah (swt).  So what are all these diffi culties and problems that prevent the youth of today from getting married? Education and fi nancial status.

  

Education:

It is quite fortunate that the youth of today, mostly wish to continue their studies and do not content themselves with a lower grade education. For reaching the higher education it is necessary that boys and girls must seek education up to the age of 25 or even beyond. Getting an education is considered a constraint to marriage making the acceptance of material responsibility therefore impracticable.

 Some people say that when a boy and girl get married, their minds and attentions would be distracted and diverted from their studies, this is merely an error. Instead if they are married their minds would be more focused, since the scattered and deviated thoughts would go out of their minds. Their hearts, minds and eyes would be detached and separated from other places and become more focused upon each other, thus there would be contentment in life.

 Financial Status:

Some students say let us be patient till the time we get our degree and then work to become wealthy and out our life upon its track and then marry. Without a good job they will have little income to keep house and raise a family. With these negative issues any benefi ts will surely put the youth off marriage until obtaining his degree and settling down with a well paid job and a nice house.

 They must take into view this important point that they may face spiritual and physical inconveniences and after crossing all these phases, they may not have all that health, freshness and fortitude to organize and establish and prosper.

 If both boy and girl are studying at university they will both have to take on great responsibilities and co-operate fully. Both husband and wife must perform the house work together, not allowing it to be a burden upon one person’s shoulder. Allah has declared a big prize and reward for the husband and wife who can help each other in the life matters. The co-working enhances mutual love and the wife getting education and knowledge can even help each other in that field.

 How enjoyable and progressive it can be when two members of a common life, two partners who have uniformity of aim, objective and direction, are discussion partners of each other in their studies as well.

 In the Qur’an Allah (swt) says: Marry the spouseless among you, if they are poor Allah will enrich them of his bounty [24:32]. This verse and others indicates that in Islam marriage is a highly rec-ommended deed so why does one in our society shy away from this issue.

 The answer is very clear to see--our minds have been programmed to think we could not contemplate marriage until our education is complete with a degree to our names and we have financially stabled ourselves.

I think parents could help in reversing this type of thinking. Instead of saying

“Oh! He cannot get married till he can stand on his own two feet,” they should help them financially and give them support so they could maintain a good balance of marriage and studying.

 After reading extensively and researching in real life case studies, I have chosen two examples which have both worked out well. I have found that there are those type of parents, that when they realized that their teenager wished to marry with or without their blessings, they decided to stand by them. The result is they were married and both husband and wife are at university, financially supported by their respective fathers.

 In the second case before marriage both partners with parents approval agreed to co-operate and compromise. This enables them to get married and go through university, by setting up temporary home away from their hometown till their education was complete.

I am sure it was a lot of hard work and sacrifice but it is worthwhile as it prevents young people from falling into any sinful activities. I have tried to present both sides of the argument. I will leave it up to the reader to draw their own conclusions.

 I would like to end with a saying of our Holy Prophet (swt):  

Whoever refrains from marriage because of fear of poverty, he has indeed thought badly of God.  

 

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