the Message Continues ... i2/4
initial thought as I started writing on this subject was that a student must
wait until his or her education is
complete. Being a first
year student, the thought of getting married before finishing
college was terrifying. I would prefer to follow in the footsteps of other
youth, who are starting college and postpone marriage until after graduation.
days, when the question of marriage is put forward to any youth, the most common
answers will include a long list of difficulties
and problems in marriage, with total disregard of all the benefi ts and merits offered by marriage in
the greatest wisdom of Allah (swt).
So what are all these diffi culties and problems that prevent the youth of today
from getting married? Education and fi nancial status.
is quite fortunate that the youth of today, mostly wish to continue their
studies and do not content themselves with a lower grade education. For reaching
the higher education it is necessary that boys and girls must seek education up
to the age of 25 or even beyond. Getting an education is considered a constraint
to marriage making the acceptance of material responsibility therefore
people say that when a boy and girl get married, their minds and attentions
would be distracted and diverted from their studies, this is merely an error.
Instead if they are married their minds would be more focused, since the
scattered and deviated thoughts would go out of their minds. Their hearts, minds
and eyes would be detached and separated from other places and become more
focused upon each other, thus there would be contentment in life.
students say let us be patient till the time we get our degree and then work to
become wealthy and out our life upon its track and then marry. Without a good
job they will have little income to keep house and raise a family. With these
negative issues any benefi ts will
surely put the youth off marriage until obtaining his degree and settling down
with a well paid job and a nice house.
must take into view this important point that they may face spiritual and
physical inconveniences and after crossing all these phases, they may not have
all that health, freshness and fortitude to organize and establish and prosper.
both boy and girl are studying at university they will both have to take on
great responsibilities and co-operate fully. Both husband and wife must perform
the house work together, not allowing it to be a burden upon one persons
shoulder. Allah has declared a big prize and reward for the husband and wife who
can help each other in the life matters. The co-working enhances mutual love and
the wife getting education and knowledge can even help each other in that field.
enjoyable and progressive it can be when two members of a common life, two
partners who have uniformity of aim, objective and direction, are discussion
partners of each other in their studies as well.
the Quran Allah (swt)
says: Marry the
spouseless among you, if they are poor Allah will enrich them of his bounty
[24:32]. This verse and others indicates that in
Islam marriage is a highly rec-ommended deed so why does one in our society shy
away from this issue.
answer is very clear to see--our minds have been programmed to think we could
not contemplate marriage until our education is complete with a degree to our
names and we have financially stabled
think parents could help in reversing this type of thinking. Instead of saying
He cannot get married till he can stand on his own two feet, they
should help them financially and give
them support so they could maintain a good balance of marriage and
reading extensively and researching in real life case studies, I have chosen two
examples which have both worked out well. I have found that there are those type
of parents, that when they realized that their teenager wished to marry with or
without their blessings, they decided to stand by them. The result is they were
married and both husband and wife are at university, financially
supported by their respective fathers.
the second case before marriage both partners with parents approval agreed to
co-operate and compromise. This enables them to get married and go through
university, by setting up temporary home away from their hometown till their
education was complete.
am sure it was a lot of hard work and sacrifice
but it is worthwhile as it prevents young people from falling into any sinful
activities. I have tried to present both sides of the argument. I will leave it
up to the reader to draw their own conclusions.
I would like to end with a saying of our Holy Prophet (swt):
refrains from marriage because of fear of poverty, he has
indeed thought badly of God.