On Happiness and Peace in Marriage
by Syed Nasir

      Every woman is gifted by nature with immeasurable strength and ability to keep a family together. In the past, woman has always acted as a nucleus to maintain the social order of a home. Regardless of changes in the social and economic milieu, the woman still remains, both in the east and the west, the primary custodian and care- taker of the fortress of a household. Whereas man has always been traditionally and primarily responsible for providing the livelihood,
it is still the supreme role of woman to hold the fort and make sure ' all is good and well ' before the man steps into the door after his day's work.

      After marriage, the woman must recognize the stark reality that she has departed her parents' home, to make her own with a man. After entering into the bond of marriage, the total  focus of her attention, her love and care must be on her new home, her husband and children. Unless and until she accepts the ' new culture ' , the new place (or country) and the new living style (that she
had willingly chosen) and until she strives to learn the skills necessary to manage a household, she is only building the doll-house of her dreams on a heap of sand that cannot last very long.

      A prudent wife learns to walk with her husband and is willing to support him in good times or bad. A happy woman never lives in her past, nor she looks back  to find her comfort. The current life is her ' orhna bechona and she helps her husband to make the best of today and shares with him the dreams of a brighter and happier future, a future which is their together, never apart from each other. It is not always an easy task; one is to work on it. I do not think
there is any obstacle too big to cross on the road to a happy marriage.

     When one spouse is upset, the other must try to bring him/her around with a positive effort. Going into a cocoon does not help; it only worsens the situation only makes things worse. Allah has placed love and mercy in the hearts of spouses. It has to be nourished constantly with kind words. The husband ought to avoid things that hurt or displease the wife. Similarly wife should not hurt her husband's self-respect. She is to make an extra effort in maintaining an orderly house, and not look back to the past.